Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Castles in the rain.

I had forgotten how much I loved the rain...

until today.

The front door was open just a bit and I poked my head out to see if anyone had gone outside.

Just breathing in the air drew me further out of the house and into the rain, where I slowly stepped into each puddle and allowed the rain drops to fall where they may.

The funny thing about rain is that it relaxes me.

With each draw of fresh air, I felt life's daily stressors slowly melt away.

But in a weird way, it's the stress and anxiety that keep my emotional castle standing tall and as they slipped away, I felt myself grow teary.

Why? Well... why not?

I would be living home again in less than two weeks to embark on my second year of college. I will be forced to be independent again. This summer changed me in more way than I care to admit and it scares me how old I am. Where have the years gone?

I'll be 19 in December.

20 the year after.

My childhood has all but slipped out of my hands like sand in the ocean's current.

I'm getting old and I feel as if I have not nearly accomplished enough to be okay with this steady passing of time.

Slowly, the castle within me began to fall... and I wasn't ready for it. I took one more breath in before turning around and stepping back in the house.

Jimi Hendrix said it best "Castles made of sand slip in the sea eventually..."

and maybe it is time for a new castle to be built. This one I have been harboring for years now and it is high time that I let go of it... let it fall... and start anew.

This is a new chapter of my life I am heading into and each new chapter deserves a new page... new opportunities... 

a new castle.

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