Sunday, June 24, 2012

BLOG RANT: TURNOFFS

It's summer and everyone is looking for their summer boo, if they haven't found one already. Of course, not everyone needs one. In the midst of the chaos, I have constructed a top ten of commonly occurring incidents that guys seem to think are acceptable in finding a girl.

PS. They are not... and never will be okay...

Disclaimer: This is my list of incidents and not everyone will share my opinions. They are not in any order..

one. oversharing
Honestly, no one cares about the last time you "got any". Nor do they care how badly you want it, how you want it, where you'd want it, etc. This is something that a few people have been caught doing and I know social media is there for you to share your thoughts and opinions, but know the line.

two. misspelling/grammar
This is a pet peeve of mine in general, but I absolutely abhor guys who text you and their texts come in looking like this:
"Srry i was assleep. maby next time..." 
NO. NOOOOO. NOOOOOOOOO. It's one thing to use acronyms or to shorten things to text speak.
This: "Sry, I was asleep. Mayb nxt time" is annoying to some people, but at least it is understandable. Also, if you are trying to be cute and use a different language, know how to spell it/type it out. 
"cuomo estas?"  is sadly not "como estas?"
I am not asking you to type everything out as if you were writing an English paper, but at least try.

three. dry personality
I mean, this is kind of self explanatory... but if you have no personality or it doesn't show in your conversation... you have a greater problem than trying to find someone. I mean, if you are funny.. show it. If you are a little weird, show it (in moderation... too much weird can and will always become an issue, especially if you don't know this person and you are just starting a conversation with them). People want to know the real you and if you are putting up a front or are just boring in general, you need to do some self discovery.

four. obvious motives
Of course, number three can be made apparent when this is in mind. I would rather you be upfront with me and say that you are looking for something casual, than go through this whole "lemme hit you up" nonsense. By pretending you care about my life, where I come from, and what I'm doing, you are wasting my battery on my phone and wasting my time. Be upfront about what you want...

five. no future plans
Okay, at my present age, as young as I am, most of the people I am talking to are college-aged. The "I don't know what I wanna do with my life" act was okay in high school, but now we're hitting our late teens, early twenties... you need to have some idea about what you want to do. I mean, not everyone wakes up and realizes that they want to be a lawyer. Nor does everyone have a set career path for themselves, but at least knowing a general idea of what you want to do is better than the classic "I don't know.. I figured I'd just wing it."

six. a big ego
Despite Beyonce's hit, we do not love your big ego. Having pride in your accomplishments is one thing, but show some humility every now and then, kay?

seven. a dirty mouth
Okay, so this year I met someone who, and I mean this so seriously,when he spoke every other other word was the N word. First of all, I don't even like saying the word; sometimes it slips out when I'm singing along to a song or something... but it's not something I like saying nor do I like hearing it. To be honest, I don't have the cleanest mouth either... but in moderation please.

eight. trying too hard
A perfect example of trying too hard: One of my twitter followers tweeted today "Theres 3 words this guy does not know.  The 1st one is leave, the 2nd one is me, the last one is alone. Someone help him." See, if you try too hard, you end up on twitter and ended up being a good laugh for all of that person's followers and the followers of whoever retweets them. Spare yourself the loss of dignity and accept a "No" as what it is and not a challenge. If we're in the wrong, trust me... we'll apologize and try to win you back. Until then, respect the deuces and back up.

nine. being that guy
If you have reputation of being "that guy" (or "that girl"), whatever that implies... (i.e the one who tries to get with every freshman, the one who dates around in a social circle, the one who gets beyond creepy and touchy after a few drinks, the psycho, etc.) please realize that as true (or not) as this is... it is following you, people are going to have a certain opinion of you, and very few people will take the time to let you prove yourself other wise.

ten. the divide and conquer method
I actually asked a couple of my guy friends about this the other day... why do guys seem to think it is okay to talk to one girl and then if things don't work out, they move on to another girl in the same circle. Do you not think people know about her and you? If you think the answer is no, it is time to reevaluate your method. However, one of the guys I asked gave a very insightful answer that I could not help to respect.
He said, "You, as a girl, may [not] see it the same way but I'll explain anyway. At least with guys, it's always about potentials. Girls are either a potential or a non-potential. It really doesn't matter a whole lot who that girls may or may not know or or who she's friends with. Now, depending on the 
guy and his personal stake in that social circle: if he has little involvement with that circle, he will be more inclined to try for another girl in that same circle; if he has more involvement, he will generally be less inclined to do so. But of course, it depends on the guy's risk taking as well. The overall point is, guys don't always see it as 'I can't because they are friends'  it is just an 'ok moving on the the next potential'. "


Okay, I'm glad I got that out of my system. Until later..

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